Alison, one of my best buddies !

     Hmmm ... All I can say about Alison in one word is, eccentric ! Hahaha ! Well, I've known her since last year ! She was introduced to me by Chelsey, who lives in Utah, another one of my best buddies, lives 15 hours in the past but we all live together in the present ! Hahahaha !!

     It's really confusing ! Hahaha !

     Last year, christmas, Alison sent me a three gifts, and my favourite gift was the card she wrote by hand to send me ! I want to share her message with the world, to show her how proud I am to have a her as a friend !!

         

   YOU ARE BOMBED !!

     Dearest Fabian, Merry Christmas ! (Or should I say Merry Belated, hahaha !!) Can I just say how much you and Chelsey really mean to me in my life and I absolutely cannot imagine life without you guys in it ! You guys have definitely set the Olympic record for becoming such best friends of mine within such a short span of time, it's CRAZY but I really love you guys to bits !! What did you do, man, cast a spell on me ??!!!!! And you two are probably the first people I've ever given presents to despite knowing you guys for such a short time ! This card was pretty expensive okay mister & I actually spent the most on you two for Christmas than any other frind. But that's cause I love you two ! And it's worth it. You're so GONNA ace your Biology papers & toss more pianos, man !!!!!!! Oh, just forget about math, yea know ?? I look forward to seeing you at the 2012 Olympics, haha !! Go Piano-man ! You can do it !!! That's cause YOU are FANTABULOUS ! Remember ~ I'm just a phonecall away if you ever need me !! :) Love Ya !!!!!

     P.S. Pardonnez- moi for my attrocious arabic-text handwriting, hahaha ! 

     P.P.S. See ?? Says who I don't know french ? You've got a lot more to learn about moi !

     Au ReVoiR !

Ally !!

This is something that I'll tresure for the rest of my life !! So, thanks Ally !!

P.S. I really started getting A's ine my bio test after that !! Hahaha .. Quite a big leap from C's to A's !! Hahahaa !! I even got an A for my trials !! LoL !!

This shows that motivation is all you need to succeed !!

An understatement

     What is the meaning of this ? I constantly feel so depressed, sustained. Lately, I can't get a hold of myself, my emotions are gaining control over me. To think that life would be any better. I want to understand why this is happening to me, but I know the partial answer to that.

     Even as I write this, I think about the days when I was happy to be alive, but then, reality hits, forcing me to face hardship on a daily basis.

"My emotions I contrast to stormy seas,

My anger fumes clouds of darkness, glee,

Joy so sparse, so dreaded are my days,

For as long he lives, I shall suffer my fate"

    
     At times like this, I wish there was someone beside me, supporting me in every way. I want my life to be useful to the world, atleast someone. Being alone all these years, I don't want to be anymore.

   

Musical Luminosity

     Being tired isn't all that fun, especially with Biology today. The 50 objective questions were very easy, but then the paper 2 wasn't so, but I'll manage to get an A in this, I hope ! Haha !

     Well, I'm not going to carry on crapping about school today, I actually wanted to post something about music. Something I learnt just today. (I suspended myself from piano class till SPM is over so, you get the picture) I'm stuck in Grade 7 Theory, and while reading through the theory book, I got to learn some cool things about chord progressions ! Hahaha !

     Ummm .... Let me start with Beethoven then. In his composition, Fur Elise, 45-46, there is an interesting opening to a new tune. The opening goes like this, I7d - IVc - Ic, in C major, where the note C, repeats it self in both clefs. It's really interesting, the way it sounds so dramatic and all !

     I'd love to insert that in one of compositions in the future. It'll give so much more tonality to music :) I for one, am a big fan of Beethoven. I just love the way his music sounds, so beautiful. I especially love Moonlight Sonata though. It has to be my top favourites in his repertoire. Haha !

     I also learnt how to modulate and suspend now too ! Hahaha ! It's so fun the things Musical theory teaches you !

     I'd love to continue my musical education after SPM though ! I need to finish Grade 8 ! My personal target !!

Life as I know it, today.

     Well, today was okay I guess. I slept late the night before after a lengthy, but interesting talk with my cousin. It was so interesting, I let it pull me away from bed. Haha.

     When I got up this morning, at 6.30a.m. as usual, I felt like I was just hit in the head with a brick. I got up slowly, and headed on to get ready for school.

     By 7.30a.m., I had reached school and had lightenened up alittle but still felt really tired, like 'most' of my life was drained out from me. A little dramatic huh ? Hahaha

     After the assembly, I headed up to class, dreading the thought of having to face my chemistry exam even though I more than prepared for it. I guess the feeling was because I was just so bloody tired ? Anyway, I headed up to class, dragging my body along down the corridor heading to my classroom.

     After getting settled in, I started flipping through my notes, even though I knew, nothing would go in. I guess it was just a way to make you 'look' like you're studying. Haha. Anyway, who was to show up but my annoying friend. It's not that he's always that way, but he just does not know when it's okay to come up to somebody and annoy them ! That, along with my bad mood just set me off, but being the person that I am, I did not want to cause stupid problems just because I was in a bad mood. So, I just left that at that and told him to go annoy somebody else instead.

     A few minutes on, we were ordered to go keep our books and bags, so that the exam could start. At first, the paper was pretty easy, actually, the whole paper was pretty easy, but due to my, not so well, scoring in my papers 1 and 2, I guess I'll just have to settle in for a B ... Sad.

     After recess, was my physics paper. Which turned out to be not so hard either ... and then again, I'll still might have to settle for a B ... Due to my papers 1 and 2 ....

     I hope Biology tomorrow won't be too hard, I only gotten a B once this year, and I want to keep it that way. I need an A in Biology. I have been studying though, let's see if I can do it !
    
     That's all for now ... I'll tell you guys more tomorrow.

Love

What is love ? Is it some unknown force that exist in between us ?
     
     "Love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person," Quote from Wikipedia

      Is this what love is ? Why is love so shrouded ? What makes it so special in our lives ? Why does it leave such an impact on us ?

      I want to know, why the people of this world need love, why is it so important ? Can we not live without love ?

      The bond between mother and child is said to be formed far before the child is actually born. What is love that it can create such things ?

      Can anyone answer my questions ?

     

ICG

    Intercampus Gathering, ICG, is going to be held this coming weekend !!! I can barely wait !! It's going to be so much fun !!

    I really don't know what to expect, but from what I hear, it's going to be AWESOME ! Hahaha !!!

    I'm sorta jumping with excitement now !! :D!! I really cannot express my joy with words !! Hahaha !! Awesome-ness !!!

Depression

"Depression is an illness that causes a person to feel sad and hopeless much of the time. It is different from normal feelings of sadness, grief, or low energy."

    Suffering from depression doesn't help very much. It makes me feel like I'd rather be dead than alive most of the time. Suicide swims constantly through my thoughts on a day to day basis, but don't worry, I know suicide isn't the only way out, thanks to some of my friends. Sometimes, late at night, a silence creeps into me, I would wake up and just think of everything that has happened to me in the past, things I'd like to change in the future. I hate the feeling I get once those thoughts have passed through me. The feeling of utter sadness and despair.

     I don't really want to face those problems in my life but I just have to face the fact that I'll have to resolve them. I don't really know when I started having depression. I just know that I've had it for as long as I can remember. There's only one thing I know for sure though. It's the source of my depression. How a single person on this world can make your life a living hell. How a single person on this world can make your life and just your utter presence seem useless to the world. As much as I hate that person, I will not however tarnish his (Yes, the person in question is male) image on the internet. Who knows, one day, that very person might just stride onto my blog and find that. That'd certainly be the end of me.

      Well, there's only so much I can talk about depression and the only way I get through life without being dragged to hell, is because I have the support of my sister and my friends ! I really am thankful for their existance, to support me and to guide me to not stray into the willing hands of death.

Beginings...

    I was sitting around, starring at my computer screen, just blank in the head, if you know what I mean. So, when I finally came to my senses, I decided it would be best to record my daily rantings online to see how many of you share my fate ! I'm not the luckiest person in the world, but to some extent, yes. I had the opportunity of experiencing the breakthrough of the INTERNET.

    Funny as it may seem, without the internet, my life would be so dull to live. It's like there's no point watching TV anymore cause it's just a repetition of everything that has already been screened. Atleast with the internet, there is an endless supply of entertainment so that the world can feel a little fun, eh ? My life is just routine, just like those TV shows, a repetition, in constant motion, in a circle ofcourse. In other words, my life is just dull and depressing ? You'll just have to find out for yourself later on, as this blog grows.