Sunday, September 13, 2009

Depression

"Depression is an illness that causes a person to feel sad and hopeless much of the time. It is different from normal feelings of sadness, grief, or low energy."

    Suffering from depression doesn't help very much. It makes me feel like I'd rather be dead than alive most of the time. Suicide swims constantly through my thoughts on a day to day basis, but don't worry, I know suicide isn't the only way out, thanks to some of my friends. Sometimes, late at night, a silence creeps into me, I would wake up and just think of everything that has happened to me in the past, things I'd like to change in the future. I hate the feeling I get once those thoughts have passed through me. The feeling of utter sadness and despair.

     I don't really want to face those problems in my life but I just have to face the fact that I'll have to resolve them. I don't really know when I started having depression. I just know that I've had it for as long as I can remember. There's only one thing I know for sure though. It's the source of my depression. How a single person on this world can make your life a living hell. How a single person on this world can make your life and just your utter presence seem useless to the world. As much as I hate that person, I will not however tarnish his (Yes, the person in question is male) image on the internet. Who knows, one day, that very person might just stride onto my blog and find that. That'd certainly be the end of me.

      Well, there's only so much I can talk about depression and the only way I get through life without being dragged to hell, is because I have the support of my sister and my friends ! I really am thankful for their existance, to support me and to guide me to not stray into the willing hands of death.

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